Do you suffer from emergency boner issues?! Never fear, because your emergency erection is our stock in trade! Bring your inconvenient hard cock to the Ladies of LDW and we’ll transform it into hours of blue balls, panties with a wet spot, or even help you eliminate emergency hard-ons altogether with our patented locking chastity system! Never fear the boner again, when you’re in the Ladies hands.

I want you to imagine that was all said in the TV infomercial voice…

But really now, if you do discover that you have an inconvenient erection at the worst possible time, perhaps brought on by embarrassment or humiliation at work, you can always find relief by calling me to talk about it. I’ll giggle just a little, laugh at your predicament, and then taunt you while you finally jerk off in hopes of relief. Maybe, if there’s time, I’ll edge you a few times, just to really drive home to you how pathetic it is that you get turned on by mockery. Bring me your emergency boner and I’ll give you a rollicking good time in return. Honest!

Maybe erotic humiliation isn’t what sparked your emergency boner after all.

Your cock seems to have a mind of its own anyway, so it makes sense that sometimes it just, y’know, does that. It gets hard for no discernable reason, just like when you first went through puberty and got turned on by a fire hydrant because it was vaguely boob shaped. That dick of yours will just about stand up and salute an errant breeze that hits you just right, so naturally sometimes it does you dirty in semi public places. That emergency boner won’t go down, either, will it? Not without help, anyway. What’s a poor wanker to do, when suddenly plagued by boners?

Here’s what you do, when your penis acts a fool on you:

You go find yourself some privacy, right? Oh, stuck in quarantine, or at work, with no privacy to be found? Hop online, dummy, you can text! Contact the Mistress you’d like to speak with. My skype username is Harper_Enchantrix, and you can email me harper at enchantrixempire dot com. Tell the Lady, tell ME, that you’ve got an emergency boner and need help! I’ll happily help you set up a text session, or phone call, or even a call via skype! You can tell me what brought your emergency on, what made it worse, and what you think the cure should be. And then I’ll tell you what I think the cure should be, and we’ll go from there!

Emergency Boner Rescue

Let’s just go ahead and add that to my long catalog of services offered. Emergency Boner Rescue, for when your dick does you dirty and you’re in a, ahem, hard place. I’ll swoop in like a superhero, and save you from your own boner! What seems to be the trouble here, good citizen?! Oh, a boner has you stuck in a horny loop? I can handle that for you! My trusty gadget the Chastity Enforcer will lock that down and you won’t be bothered by boners again! The horniness, well, that’s here to stay…

Could I be Captain Chastity? I think I could…

Now you know what to do when you’ve got an inconvenient, erect, provocative, emergency boner, my work here is done. Give me a call, we can play superhero and victim, or I can just laugh at you for a while, that’s always fun. Either way, your boner will stop bothering you, and I’ll have a lot of fun!

Your Emergency Boner Mistress, Harper