Let’s talk about my mean mistress philosophy.
I get a lot of folks who email me asking if I can be a mean mistress for them. So I always ask them what do they mean by “mean”? Because some people say “mean” when what they’re thinking about is the bitchy, spoiled princess trope, while others say “mean” and are thinking about the other end of the pleasure spectrum. So I ask. And it’s amusing to me the answers I get back.
Before I can explain my mean mistress philosophy…
I need to talk about the difference between pleasure and pain. You see, I practice Zen Buddhism, and meditate daily. Part of my daily meditation deals with physical sensations, and setting them aside, controlling my reactions to what I think and feel. There is no judgment attached to emotions, for me. You feel a thing, it is what it is, set it aside and move forward; judging oneself is useless and paralyzing. I feel lust, or happiness, or sadness, and it’s all just emotion. Emotions and physical sensations can be dealt with in the same way. I feel desire in my body, or my knee aches, or enjoy the feel of silk on my skin; it’s all just sensation. To me, the difference between pain and pleasure is in the reaction of the mind to stimuli. Can you see how a different version of a mean mistress can arise from this point of view?
Imagine that you come to me and ask me to be a mean mistress for you.
Can you picture kneeling in front of me, and offering up your body, mind, and emotions? Letting me control and manipulate your entire world, to produce certain reactions in you? If you ask me to be a mean mistress, you need to know what I’m going to do to you. Pain and pleasure are two ends of the same spectrum, as happiness and despair are their own polar opposites. I may not ever really make the transition to bitchy and spoiled, but, darling, I can certainly be mean to you. I can provide you with all the stimulation your body and mind require, in a full range of sensations. I will lovingly tie up your cock and balls, and use clothespins to create a zipper along your inner things, and then laugh in your face for that little edge of humiliation that you need to push your mind over the edge.
Yes Mistress Harper not sure .Firm strict do not want to displease her .My head feminization Mistress Erika .Mean has a negative contation to me .Pety ,small spirited Mistress Erika and all the Mistress’s of the Enchantrix empire never mean .strict .i better obey Mistress or their will be consequences.i do not think even getting punished by her is being mean it is loving and caring caring abput sissy tedi’s behavior .that is not mean that kind ,a two Mistress call would be fun ,i think you having standards and holding pets to them is mean it is kindness sincerly yours beta bottom bitch tedi
Is not mean it is kind sincerly yours beta bottom bitch tedi
Yes Mistress Harper bdsm and zen go together perfectly sincerly yours beta bottom bitch tedi
OMG this is a fucking awesome blog — I do the same thing when they say, “I want you to dominate me.” I’ll say, “What do you mean by dominate?” Often the caller will go on to describe a sexually assertive woman. There’s a BIG difference between assertive and the energy of power exchange. The same questions go for what is “mean” or “humiliating” — I love how you explain real BDsm issues and questions.
I often tell my guys that call me, that I don’t do the type of mean mistress they are imagining, ie: yelling screaming etc. However, I do the type of mean mistress that involves your pain being my amusement, and laughing while you cry. And I do get off on inflicting pain…. BIG TIME. Yeah sure I can do bitchy and spoiled, and I do have an evil laugh, but the best part is getting inside their heads, and corrupting them. And this is an excellent post, because when most guys say mean mistress, they have no idea what it is they are actually asking for. Muahahahahaha!
I love this post, Ms. Harper! Guys have no idea there are so many variations on a single theme. What’s “mean” for one submissive is mild for another. I think encouraging subs to work on their vocabulary and using their words is a great thing. Mistresses aren’t mind readers, and it’s good for a submissive to serve his Mistress by being easy to understand, open, and honest.