Everyone needs some physical intimacy from time to time, even the most hardcore introverts among us! Without a little human to human touch, and actual physical contact, every single person on the planet (and the International Space Station) will go a little touch starved and hungry. That touch starvation and skin hunger can lead us poor mammals to make some poor choices, so, let’s talk about ways to get some physical intimacy at a distance!

How do you reach out and touch someone when you’re supposed to stay six feet apart?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock in a cave with no wifi out in some desert, you know why you should be avoiding people you don’t live with, wearing a mask in public, and washing your hands like you’re Lady Macbeth trying to wash away guilt. So, with that all understood, how do you get your need for physical intimacy met, when you’re not supposed to get withing touching distance of literally anyone?! Don’t worry, I have a solid gold technique for you, and I’m not going to do one of those terrible clickbait lead-ons to get you to stick on the page longer. You get your need for physical intimacy the same way you can get your need for sexual gratification: do it yourself.

Here’s the technique for getting your physical intimacy at a distance:

There’s a therapeutic technique called “T-touch” that’s used to help patients in long term care facilities, in-patient rehab, and also with animals in rescue situations. Basically, it’s a massage but only for skin. In a traditional massage, the goal is to stimulate and move muscles so that they release tension and find ease. Chiropractic adjustments move the bones and joints, massage goes for the muscles, T-touch moves only the skin. Remember that your skin has three layers: epidermis, dermis, and subcutaneous fat. There are nerves throughout your skin, that allow you to feel touch, pain, pleasure, heat, and aid in your bodies proprioception, or ability to tell where you are in space. Your skin hunger and touch starvation arises from a lack of stimulation in those nerves, so, to alleviate your skin hunger, feed the nerves using T-touch.

The practice:

Use just the tips of your fingers, perhaps your entire palm if you can maintain a light touch, and gently touch and stroke over your arms, chest, stomach, and legs. Your goal is to move only the skin layers, not the underlying musculature. This isn’t a massage, this is all about your skin. The largest organ of your body, your skin covers roughly 22 square feet and weighs 8 pounds! Taking care of your skin is important for your overall health and well being. Touch hunger and skin hunger can lead to mental health issues, and in the very young, a lack of gentle touch sets a person up for lifelong difficulties regulating emotion and dealing with stress. So, touch, gently, your skin.

T-touch can be done solo, but if you really want to blow your own mind, try it with a partner.

Here’s the ‘at a distance’ part of this post. Mutual masturbation is a fantastic way to build intimacy and to show your partners how you like to be touched, and what can make your toes curl. Now that we are all keeping ourselves at a distance, all our mutual masturbation fantasies have become not just plausible, but the smart way to connect! Hop on Skype, set up your camera, and get intimate at a distance with someone. Showing off what you like, and putting on a performance can be amazing; combine your distance sexy times with some T-touch, and enjoy the benefits of feeling like you cuddled for three hours without exposing each other to potential illness! Try to mirror what each other are doing, to really amp up the feelings of connection. A mirror exercise increases feelings of connectedness, T-touch relives stress and drops endorphins into your brain chemistry stew, and then finish up with some mutual masturbation and you’ll feel incredibly connected with, and intimate towards, your partner at a distance.

Someone asked me the other day how I was handling being apart from my partners…

I have many lovers and partners, at various levels of intimacy and closeness, and, not gonna lie, it’s been rough not being able to be with them. But, they’re lucky in that they’re with me! I’m deeply introverted, and have the skills to help us all foster deep physical intimacy even though we can’t actually touch one another. Skype dates and cuddle parties on Sunday afternoons are features of my routine now. Mirrored T-touch and mutual masturbation is actually a lot of fun, and I know that when we’re finally able to be together face to face, the things they’ve confessed to me, and shown me in our Skype sessions, will be fodder for the mill and I’ll get to turn it all into something truly mind-blowing.

Of course, you can arrange a session with me, for some one on one tutoring in physical intimacy at a distance!

Your Kinky Life Coach, Mistress Harper