Right now there’s a little bit of a pervasive culture war happening around us, and I’m sure you’ve noticed it. The proximal cause is the use of automatic moderation algorithms on large social media sites to prevent users from violating the Terms of Service. Often, those auto-mods aren’t set up for nuance, and instead trigger on single specific words; this leads to trying to talk about human behavior and basic life issues without triggering the robots. But if you look a little wider, it’s not just poorly programmed bots causing issues. The TOS on big social media sites are written to comply with overarching content laws, andย those are written by people with poorly concealed agendas. The modern push towards embracing a sort of Purity Culture leaves happy Perverts with sex lives feeling left out in the cold, and guiltily dirty and ashamed.

Perverts and Purity Culture

Mistress Harper is a Cock Tease MistressThere’s a reason I’m using the phrases “perverts” and “purity culture.” There are forces out there that want to divide the world into those two camps, and trick you into thinking that if you’re in one camp you can’t possibly be in the other. Oh those tricky polar opposites, like apples and oranges, so easily set up and then they flop if you think about it for two seconds. People who want to be good, righteous, and pure can’t possibly be perverts, right?! And anyone who gets stuck with the ‘pervert’ label is dirty, degenerate, filthy, and impure, obviously. This sort of black and white thinking is dangerous, because it allows bad actors to put on sheep’s wool and blend in with the flock, unsuspected and unseen. But don’t take that as some sort of a call to root out the dirty wankers, because that’s not the point I’m making at all. Instead, consider that a lot of people who get called pervert and unclean are actually good people who happen to like to masturbate or maybe have a fetish you’ve never heard of before.

Us and Them thinking splits us up into diametrically opposing camps and makes us all easy to manipulate and control. Kinky fuckers like myself can also be good people who volunteer with community groups and donate to the Food Bank. Good people who hand out blankets to the homeless can also love being told they’re a slut and coerced into cock sucking games. There is no ‘us versus them’! There is just We, Us, all us Folks out here trying to do our best.

Trans Lives Matter

cock sucking slut! Pride winsYou can easily hit your search engine of choice and find the real world consequences of the Purity Culture War. Someone with a megaphone and an opinion opens their mouth-hole to spew bile and someone else reaps the results, with their bodies on the line. I don’t even have to name names or point out specifics, because no matter when you look, you’ll find example upon example of what happens when someone decides that someone else is a Pervert that needs to be stopped. It’s disheartening and sickening and wrong.

There is no ‘Them versus Us.’ When you let other people tell you what is dirty and bad, you’re abdicating your ability to think and reason logically, and to decide for yourself. Whether that’s a fetish you think is icky, like cum eating or sploshing around in a can of beans, or a form of prayer you don’t like, letting other people dictate which is acceptable just leads to charismatic authoritarianism. Maybe you think the worst thing you could ever do, the most humiliating act in the world, would be to suck a black man’s cock (or kiss his feet, or even worse, wash his feet with your hair!) Perhaps you find the idea of putting on panties and lingerie to be so embarrassing it makes your cock leak, and the fear and guilt and shame has built up and up and up until you both orgasm and need to go find someone to take your shame out with. There is nothing wrong with any of those fetishes, so long as you and your partners all consent to play these games.

Suck cock! Wear panties! Enjoy sitting in a cream pie! None of those are impure or dirty. And you are not impure or dirty for finding them arousing.

Perverts Unite!

The main problem with the Purity Culture creep is that more and more benign expressions of sexuality are becoming forbidden. In the rush to eliminate all the perverts from public life, all expressions of individuality and self expression are becoming suspect, and hushed. From ‘No Leather At Pride’ to trying to ban trans people from being near public institutions (and restrooms, even!), the push to only present ‘acceptable’ forms of perverted sexual behavior only stifles us all. That’s why all us perverts need to unite! It doesn’t matter what your pervert thing is, standing in solidarity with other perverts and pushing back against stupid auto-moderation, overly Puritan terms of service, and the attempts to shove us all into hiding is the only way to ensure that you and I won’t get limited to some sort of pastel cottage core tradwife hellscape. (If that’s your kink, you do you; I’ll support your fetish, but please don’t try to make me into a housewife! Can you even imagine?!!!)

I know Masturbation May is the more traditional month to wank and jerk off, but let’s get a head start in March. Set aside the fear, guilt, and shame, and masturbate! Get off on what gets you horny! Reject Purity Culture and sit on a cake!

Your very Impure Mistress, Harper

XOXO, Harper