As we go through life, we’re often confronted with issues of self identity and that terrible question “Who Am I?!” I know, being suddenly confronted with issues of identity and self-hood on a fetish sex blog is probably not what you were expecting on a nice Wednesday morning, but you should know me by now. This is my bread and butter right here! The philosophical side of life sometimes needs some introspection so that we can move forward with our kinky and perverted desires. And if you’re attracted to the softer, femme side of life, it pays to put in some thought to the question. So, what does your ideal feminine self look like?
Self Image
We all have a little internal mental model of what we look like that we carry around inside our heads. We know where our limbs are, what position we’re contorted into (ADHD weird seating positions unite), and roughly where we are in space. Proprioception, along with our understanding of what we look like, helps us move through the world without constantly knocking into walls or tripping over our own feet. That mental self image is also where gender dysphoria arises from! If your mental ‘map’ of yourself doesn’t match the physical reality you’re living with, it can cause mental and emotional pain. Persons who’ve experienced limb loss or other wounds or illnesses that have changed the shape of their bodies drastically also experience this mental discomfort. And of course, those of us who like to play around with our gender presentation also have a mental image of ourselves, even if sometimes that image changes from day to day.
Gender and Internal Self Image
You do not have to identify as trans to enjoy exploring your gender! Let me get that out there first, because I don’t want anyone to freak out. You can crack your own egg on your own schedule. The things that we tend to think of as ‘belonging’ to one gender or another can vary wildly from person to person, and are often rooted in cultural assumptions about things like masculinity and femininity. Consider those stereotypes, and where you both conform to them, and where you deviate from them. Do you often do things that might be considered girly, or manly? Do you think of yourself as being more one way than another? Take a moment or two to think about what it might be like if you were seen as, and acted as, a gender you don’t identify with. Does that feel weird in a good way, or weird in a bad way?
What Does Your Ideal Feminine Self Look Like?
When you close your eyes and think of yourself, what sorts of things come to mind? How would you describe yourself, if you had to put your ideal self into words? What would you change about your physical body, what would you keep? If you could completely transform yourself and remake your body into the perfect idealized version of YOU, who would you be? If you could be the deepest, truest expression of yourself, would you?
The Sissy Pageant Is Back
I’m sure you’ve heard by now, but the Enchantrix Empire is hosting the 2024 Sissy Pageant! Now, no real details are available for you yet, but I did want to let everyone know that the Pageant is back, and you’ll get to strut your stuff for all the Ladies very soon. Please remember that we are Gender Inclusive As Fuck! Everyone is welcome in our Pageant. You do not need perform a passable feminine performance for us; we’ll take you as you are and celebrate the heck out of you. It takes immense bravery to participate in a Pageant, so just by joining in you’re already an awesome winner to me. Keep your eyes peeled, we’ll be opening the Pageant very soon!
If you’re worried about participating in the Pageant, please reach out! Book a session with me so we can go over all the details (Yes, I know all the details!) and get you Pageant Ready. Advice about your outfits, coaching for feminine behavior, and of course validation and support of you and your ideal feminine self — no matter WHAT that ideal self looks like!
Your Feminization Mistress, Harper
Thank you Mistress Harper for your article.
It’s a tough question. I love being able to dress in extremely shiny romantic dresses made of satin, organza, chiffon, etc. I have always dreamed of being a bride. My wife and I even once said we would have a sort of private fetish wedding where I would dress up as her bride (as 2 women). Unfortunately, it never happened because she lost interest.
I also like the satin uniform of the French maid. I think I’m a cross between a crossdresser and a sissy. I don’t feel completely female although the feminine side has been making a lot of noise lately because it was silenced for so long, but that’s a long story for another kind of comment I guess.
I’m just trying to embrace myself more, be as authentic to myself as possible. I’ve never been attracted to men at all, only women.
I get turned on by the idea of looking like a woman, serving a dominant woman as her maid or whore, in a light DS relationship, but I can’t fully imagine and what that would look like in a 24/7 relationship. Reality can sometimes differ from fantasy.
I don’t know, I was trying to be authentic, hopefully I answered your question.
Anyway, somehow it’s all evolving and I’m starting to get things straight with my wife.
I’m glad you’re able to explore you fantasies and desires with your wife! And that this sort of introspection is useful for you. I think taking time to think about who and what you are, and how you live your life, is one of the keys to the deepest happiness.
I’m gender fluid and have two feminine ideals: 1) A Woman and 2) A feminized objectified sissy-male
When I actually identify as a woman, I’m actually somewhat asexual. I like to look attractive and I still feel attraction towards women, but my sex drive is at a minimum and I’m looking for either a romantic or a sensual hookup. I view myself as having straight red hair, conservative but pretty makeup, a skirt or dress that hides my knees, and top that isn’t designed to show off cleavage because, well, I do not have any. When I have expressed this way, I wear a corset but I do not wear heels because the only heels I’ve ever been able to find that properly fit my feet are rather bland. Mary Janes however are attractive and easier to find.
When I am a feminized objectified male, it actually is an expression of my humiliation kink and as such, my sex drive is heightened. I like maid uniforms and Kawaii (Japanese for cute) outfits, bright red lipstick although I probably should expand to other colors, a cute choker around my neck, and either full-length or thigh-high stockings OR cute socks with bows. Again, avoiding outfits designed for cleavage and again wearing Mary Janes.
I also like the idea of wrist and ankle cuffs that are cute but can be used to secure my wrists and ankles to restraints.
Those are my two ideals, how I envision myself when expressing myself as feminine.
I like that! Two different idealized expressions to suit very particular needs and desires, and modes of being for you. I think exploring other aspects of your kinks would be good, and also trying new colors and shades for your lipstick would be fun. Have you considered a bright coral pink?
You’ve heard me describe my ideal feminine self. My dark shoulder-length hair, button-up blouse and plaid skirt (like a schoolgirl), and of course, red lipstick which goes so nicely with my dark hair.
I might make variations on this theme. Perhaps an elegant dress, or a slutty streetwalker look?
But my lipstick is always a must.
Does the shade of your lipstick effect how you feel about it? I know you love a deep red, but have you tried bubblegum pink?
I think i’m weird in that I have no real desire to cross dress but I do have sissy fantasies that I love to get off to and I do have an image of my sissy feminine self. I like to imagine myself as a trans girl – petite , small breasted, blonde hair and my little clitty cock locked in chastity. I am submissive and this small breasted blonde girl image just feels right to me.
I think there’s a line between masturbation fantasy and lifestyle; some folks, it’s just a little fun fantasy to get off to, and for others it’s an all-encompassing lifestyle passion. Both sides are perfectly fine and normal! Your femme self sounds real cute, too.