It’s vocabulary time again, my bitches! I mean “my bitches” in the nicest way possible, of course. So, what vocabulary are we exploring today? You’re in for a treat, because we’re gonna explore some of the lingo coming from the trans community, and along the way we’re gonna talk about ethics. I know, everything you ever wanted from a phone sex Mistress’ blog, right?! Vocabulary lessons and a lecture on ethics, what fun, but, this is the stuff a well rounded life is crafted from, and I aim to both educate you and ensure that you’re set up for success in the world.  So let’s explore Pickles, Eggs, and Trans Lives.

Sounds like a grocery list more than a vocabulary list!

What is it with Pickles and trans people? This one’s pretty easy, actually. People who are on spironolactone wind up craving sodium. What’s high in sodium? Pickles. Spironolactone is an anti-androgen that will lower your testosterone levels, and should be taken with the guidance of a doctor and all attendant blood tests for kidney function et al. The link between pickles and trans women arose first because trans ladies crave salty foods, and then got hyped up because pickles are made from cucumbers, and everyone knows that a nice cucumber is about the right size for a hearty dildo. And let’s be real, we’re all rather juvenile on the internet, so the shrunken dildo that a properly sized pickle resembles is another reference to the shrinking effect of HRT.

Ok, so that’s the pickle part, what about the egg?!

In Trans folks parlance, an Egg is a person who may be trans, but isn’t out or open about their transness. In fact, some Eggs don’t know they’re Eggs at all! They’re so far inside their shell that they have no idea they exhibit a lot of the symptoms and signs that trans folk have come to recognize. An Egg hasn’t hatched into a beautiful trans person, and they’re fragile, too! Cracking an Egg before they’re ready can harm the poor Eggy person, so one of the most important rules in the Trans Community is “don’t crack the Egg!” This means, when you run into a person you think might be Trans, you don’t spill the secret or try to ‘make’ them transition before they’re ready.

And thus we reach the ethics portion of our lecture today!

Some folks who call me up really love the idea of being ‘pushed’ into the open. To be coerced into coming out, or to be outed by someone else, is both a relief because it takes the responsibility for coming out off your shoulders, and a fun power exchange fantasy. We do love a good power exchange fantasy here! But we really do need to keep the fantasy in that description. It is deeply unethical to out someone against their will, and while this fantasy does start with the subject quite literally asking for it, that’s not a good enough form of consent. I know, consent, here we go again, but, good true happy consent must be enthusiastic, freely given, and reversible. You can’t take it back if I expose you to all your friends and family. There’s no margin of error for you to say ‘oh, never mind, I changed my mind’. Coming out is something YOU have to do for and to yourself. Now, I can throw a party after you’re out, but tossing you through the door and yelling “good luck!” after you is… a bit not good.

So there you have it. Pickles, Eggs, and Trans Lives!

Now you’re up to date on some of the terms you’ll hear in the Trans Community, and some of the tricky ethics in navigating that cracked egg situation. If you think you might be an Egg, you should give me a call sometime! And if you’ve got a craving for pickles, metaphorical or otherwise, we can trade some recipes. I do love a good pickled egg…

Your Pickles, Eggs, and More Mistress, Harper