Let’s delve into a little interpersonal work for a minute, here before the new year actually arrives, and work on our understanding of a work/life balance with some BDSM spice on top! We all know already that it’s important to balance your leisure time and your work time; too much work makes Jack a dullard, while too much recreation time leaves all the lovely Jacks and Jills out there penniless and sad! There’s been entire reams worth of words written on maintaining a balance between your fun hobbies and the work that must get done to survive, but very few of those words are focused on finding a BDSM life balance, so, let’s get started.
What would a healthy BDSM life balance look like to you?
Ultimately, the only person who can decide what a healthy lifestyle looks like for you, is you. Yes, I’m sure your health care providers have a few opinions, but if you disagree with their opinions, you’re not going to abide by them for long, now, are you. Part of the problem with creating a work/life/BDSM balance for yourself is that there are so very many differing opinions about what a healthy life looks like. You should probably drink more water, eat out less, exercise a bit more often, and maybe lay off the salty snacks, too. But I’ve got good news for you when it comes to sex and sexuality! Your healthcare provider is in favor of more sex!
Part of every healthy lifestyle is some wonderful self care exercises.
Did you know that masturbation can lower your blood pressure? It also helps with stress, and can increase dopamine and serotonin in your bloodstream (those are good, you want them!) That’s why taking a little time out to do things that lead to happy orgasms can be a very important part of a good work/life balance! And a little kinky sex and BDSM play can be a very good, healthy part of your well balanced life! But!
Oh, there’s always a “but”, isn’t there…
BUT, if your BDSM life balance is too skewed towards endless pleasure and unending orgasms, with your kinky life spilling over into your work life, and all the rest of your existence, you might be in trouble. It’s all about the balance! Not too much, not too little, just right! Finding a healthy balance between hedonism and aestheticism can be the trick, as you well know. Setting limits on your own hobbies and interests, and making sure that you have a variety of hobbies to indulge yourself with are key.
If you have literally one hobby, and that hobby involves your genitals, you need some more hobbies!
In an ideal work/life balance, a healthy lifestyle, and a sustainable life pattern, you’d spend no more than 10 hours working (and commuting and having lunch and whatnot), 8 to 10 hours sleeping and resting, and the rest of your time (between 6 and 4 hours) doing whatever makes you happiest in life. If your list of hobbies are all centered around your genitals, you need to diversify. And I’m well aware that having a BDSM Mistress tell you to get a hobby outside of sex is not what you were expecting! Do it anyway.
Remember, it’s the balance that is healthy!
Don’t do any one activity to the exclusion of all else. If you’re spending six hours a day jerking off, every day, and all day on the weekends, you’re going to rub yourself raw. Sensible limits on your self torture and masturbation are what you need, my friend, along with healthy hobbies to keep your mind off your junk. Orgasms are good, yes, but you need to branch out in order to be healthy. Join a book club for the social time and exposure to new ideas; take a cooking class, or learn to crochet, just to get out of the house in a non-work environment. Get your library card and set yourself a goal to read X books per month! Learn to play the guitar, or piano, or take up painting, or rock climbing. Having a hobby that isn’t centered around your kink or fetish is good for you.
All this isn’t to say that you should never indulge in your kink!
Please do! But, let your kink be a spice to your life, instead of the same old same old every night. Play with your genitals, have fun with your BDSM games, by all means. Moderation in all things, remember this, darlings. Moderation is the key to true happiness!
Your BDSM Mistress, Harper
Honestly, I think one standard expectation in any TPE relationship should be for the sub to work to make themselves more interesting and pleasant to be around. If a sub doesn’t watch anime, read a novel, go hiking, or do anything else that gives them something to talk about besides how horny and servile they are then their Domme is going to get really bored of them really fast.
If your only hobby is your genitals, you need to branch out! I love a well rounded person who also happens to be kinky and perverted, and I’d far rather spend time with someone who does have that outside interest to talk about. I can only talk about your dick for so long before it just becomes unstimulating and boring to me. 😉
Well said, pupslave.
I agree pupslave, a dull submissive is not giving Intelligent Women like Harper, and Myself what we need!!
Ms Harper I adore this post, so helpful and informative!
Re; “We all know already that it’s important to balance your leisure time and your work time; too much work makes Jack a dullard, while too much recreation time leaves all the lovely Jacks and Jills out there penniless and sad! ”
I couldn’t help but smile with this quote as we’ve found a way to bundle it all together! YAY! Kink and making a living!!
Yes MISTRESS HARPER so full of great information. Your a great teacher sincerly yours beta bottom bitch tedi