Have you ever thought about pushing limits? Your own, I mean.
Because of course, by this point you already know how I feel about you trying to push My limits. (Negatively, I feel negatively about this…) But pushing your own limits, really getting down and dirty and into the details of your own edges, and applying raw power to just expand your area of comfort… Well, that can be an area just rife with possibilities! Pushing limits in yourself can lead to awesome personal growth.
Oh, did I blow right past a few concepts there? Let me backtrack and explain.
Boundaries are awesome. It is so amazing to have a partner who knows exactly what they’re willing to do, unwilling to do, and willing to compromise on. I never enjoy hearing anyone say that they’re willing to do “anything” I want, because it means they have badly defined limits. I guarantee I can find something to push you past what’s acceptable, and I can often guess about what’s “too much” in the first five minutes we’re together. I like pushing limits, but only when you know that limit is there in the first place.
For example, if you tell me you’re really into foot worship, but don’t want to suck a cock, that’s a boundary! You found a limit!
Now let’s push that boundary just a little bit. It’s a nope to sucking a dick (shame), but a yes to kissing my toes? How about sucking on my toes ~as if they were a cock~?! Can we start pushing limits right here and now? Let’s work together to help you learn to see my toes and foot as a sexy cock, fucking into your mouth, filling you up, and making you my personal foot bitch. Does the boundary around sucking cock move when we rephrase like this? Can I slowly convince you to suck a cock for me, perhaps while humping my foot, to keep your foot fetish interest (ahem) up?
Pushing limits can be an amazing way to expand your wank bank and jerk off fantasy supply.
The only way that pushing limits really works is if you have a good grasp of your personal limits in the first place. I can’t push on something you don’t realize is there, and that I don’t realize is there, either! You tell me what you’re willing to play with, and where you’re willing to go, and together we can craft an amazing mind fuck of a fantasy. And soon enough, your limits will have expanded, and you’ll have even more amazing orgasms to look back on.
Or not, because really, pushing limits is great, but if you don’t want to, that’s cool too. I can play within your limits just as easily as I can push on them a bit. Just remember: I can’t avoid a topic in your fantasy if you don’t tell me it’s totally off limits. Just speak up, work with me, and let’s build something erotic together.
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Ms Harper!
Thank you for this post! One thing I love about what I do is expanding those kinky horizons! It really is amazing how a person, when they find a safe place to explore, can expand and push those boundaries with the right stimulation!
Yea, it’s not helpful when they say “no boundaries” or “whatever you want”. I tend to go to the extreme and give them an example
“So if I wanted you to lay face down , naked , on a bed of nails and spank your ass, we good?”
More times than not you’ll get : Ahhhhhhh errrrrrrrr um and they start talking boundaries!
Ha ha, but then that’s why they need US, right? To help them understand and explore!
Fantastic post, thanks again. See you around the Empire!
I tend to go straight to total chastity and coerced cocksucking, while pounding their asses with my strap on cock. Interestingly, some of them are actually into that! Little sluts.
Maybe I’ll borrow your bed of nails idea, and see if that can convince them to find a limit. lol!
Ms. Harper- what an excellent blog post!
I frequently tell callers that communication is key if we are going to keep things consensual.
Even though we are Mistresses, a sub is allowed to have boundaries.
Strong women deserve the truth and telling us “I’ll do anything, Mistress!” does us a disservice and disrespects our integrity.
I’m glad you are reminding people that they need to set those boundaries, even though we may enjoy nudging up against them occasionally.
YES. Playing 20 questions to figure out what turns a sub on is not that much fun for me. It wastes my time, annoys me, and make it take so much longer to get to the good stuff!
One fella took 20 damn minutes to finally manage to tell me what he wanted, and then complained (complained!) that it took so long. Listen, buddy, if you can’t answer a simple question straight up that’s not my fault. “What are you into today?” Followed by 20 damn minutes of crap. NOPE. Clearly I’m still hot about that (in a bad way).
Limits, bitches! Tell them to me so I can play with them!
Its much better to get to the business right away and then drain your mind for 40 minutes after completion to your new therapist….I mean…..mistress!
Every mistress I’ve talked with enjoys good conversation! The key is giving them the actual conversation.
#MAGA….MAKE ANAL GREAT AGAIN! inside joke…….