If you listened to last week’s Whore School, you may now be curious about Cum Eating Instructions.
Never fear, for I am here to both create and nurture your new fetish for cum eating! Let’s start with a little review, shall 
we? Cum Eating is a fetish for licking up a load of jizz. I know several of my long time readers have this fetish (hi D! hi DickBreath!), and I’m certain there’s quite a few lurkers who may be nursing a case of the curiosities. Cum eating is a very common fetish to have, so if you’re wondering about what it’d be like to slurp up a load, don’t worry about whether this is weird or odd or unusual. My cum eating instructions can help you explore this kink!
You know what cum eating is, so what’s cum eating instructions?
Once you’re curious about eating a load of jizz, it’s very, very, VERY common to try to lick it up and then fail, utterly. Some eager eaters manage to eat a load on the first try! They’re very lucky, and clearly born to lick up cum. Most people have internalized our societies taboo against eating a load of cum (or anything else that comes from our bodies) to the point that they really have a hard time managing to eat a load, or even taste their own jizz. That’s where cum eating instructions come in. Cum eating instructions are just a set of instructions that you follow to help you actually lick up cum!
Here’s my Cum Eating Instructions, Simplified:
- Step One: masturbate as usual. When you orgasm, catch your cum in a container with a lid. Refrigerate your cum, and make sure to ~clearly label~ the container as something no one else should eat. That’s yours!
- Step Two: when you’re feeling horny again, get out your saved cum. Microwave a larger container of water until it’s not quite boiling, then float your saved cum container in the hot water to warm up the load. Don’t microwave your cum!
- Step Three: masturbate, again. This time, BEFORE you orgasm, while you’re still horny, scoop up some of your warmed saved cum and taste it. Keep tasting and stroking, until you either eat it all or blow your load.
Three steps to eat your own cum!
If all else fails, you can always call me for one on one cum eating instructions. I can tweak and tailor the instructions to fit your individual needs. But one way or another, by gosh, you’re going to satisfy that curiosity and eat a load of cum for me!
Winter Holidays are Cumming!
Join the Reindeer Games and win big prizes for your big calls. And if you’re feeling generous, my wishlist is right here, and could use some love.
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I had an oral semen injection last night at a private booth in a men’s “health” club. Of course I was the bottom, my knees bare on the concrete floor, as he grew longer, thicker and harder in my facial pussy. He didn’t shoot a lot of a load, but I so loved the saltiness that lingered on my tongue. However, my lipstick was ruined!
Thank you for such a well written article. I never thought about heating up water and pouring it in the cup where there is refrigerated cum. I’ve had guys refrigerate or even freeze their cum, but not warm it back up again. Making little cum cubes might also be a great idea for guys afraid to swallow. Especially the tiny cube trays. Maybe, we should call the tiny cube trays cum cube trays. 😛
…ah… YOU did it to me Harper! CLI cum licking instruction! followed by CEI ! Yeah, YOU! It’s your fault Harper. It just jizz… er… I mean is… is! It just is! See what I mean? Queen, Queen Harper. Step O, call Harper. Get teased and tortured for your amusement.
Step 2: And who the hell would nuke their spuke! It’s NOT popcorn! amateurs and cum bums I guess! But if they insist make sure they DO put it in a container first. If you save in your balls and try to put them in the microwave it’s really really going to hurt when you close the microwave door!
Anyway, the last time we talked, the saved load, you had me pour it down my face Harper, yes Dear, mouth open, then lick. I do as you say. I will have to try to go back and listen to last week’s Whore School.
Your Cum Licker
The first time I ate my own mangravy, I was hesitant. I just kept reminding myself that this is something that I’d ask a woman to do so I should at the very least know what I’m actually asking them to eat. That made it easier. It does get easier. I think the easiest way is to ruin an orgasm. And of course don’t have anything around other than your hand to catch it. The only way to clean up is through the mouth.
Also I just found a great tumblr page with cei help (cei-cum-captions.tumblr.com).
What an excellent set of instructions for the tentative, first-time cum eater! So often, once orgasm is achieved, the desire to go through with the process leaves. I love this way of having a cum-eater learn to taste it while he is still in full-arousal mode. And Ms. Simone’s idea of cum cubes is fantastic! XO
Mistress Harper I am ready for this now please!