Bow Before Me
As you all know, I am active in my local kinky community; I’ve had a few submissives ask me about taking the step into slavery.
Locally there are quite a few dominants who keep “slaves”. Now, given that I live in Texas, and male dominants and female submissives are the norm, you can easily expect that most of the slaves around here are female, kneeling for male Masters. Most of the male submissives who are interested in slavery have slim pickings, because female dominants are so rare. Which means I have absolute hordes of males clamoring to kneel for me, to serve me, and to be Mine.
Mostly, the males who beg so prettily to be mine are inferior and lacking in all the traits I’m looking for in a slave.
I suppose it’d be easier to tell you what I’m ~not~ looking for in a slave, than to list all the things I find attractive. I’m not looking for a doormat, a mindless automaton, or a weak willed pansy. I want a slave who is still a person inside. So many kinksters are fascinated by slavery, by objectification and dehumanization that when you start talking about keeping a slave that’s the image that leaps to mind. In fantasy, that’s fantastic. As a kink or fetish, being an object to be used is tons of fun. In reality? Not really my cup of tea.
When I talk about slavery and personhood, what I’m talking about is a type of ethical consensual slavery.
I expect my slaves to have opinions, preferences, turn-ons and limits. I demand it! I don’t want an empty vessel that I pour myself into and get nothing in return. I want the interplay of you and I, the volatile mixture of two people collaborating together to create something fantastic. If you subsume your personality for your owner, if you gut yourself metaphorically and remove all traces of who you are, you become boring and uninteresting to me. How banal, how typical, how grossly common…
It is incredibly common for modern sexual slaves to assume they must give up all selfhood for their Mistress.
I want to make a clear delineation between fantasy slavery and consensual BDSM slavery in the real world. In fantasy, yes, it’s sexy and fun to break you, destroy who you were before and remake you as the perfect sex slave; to train you to get hard on command, to maintain an erection, to have no opinion about any of the filthy sex acts I command you to perform for me. In reality, I want us to work together to create an interaction that feeds us both, and goddamnit, I will not do things I find to be unethical in the pursuit of sexual pleasure, no matter how tempting. You will enter slavery as a person, and when I release you, you will still be a person. Just a person with more skills, the ability to serve me properly, and an expanded ability to be a sexual slave.
Are you ready to be my slave?
Submission to me, and being a slave to me, is harder than you think. Can you handle this? Let’s find out, together.
Interesting post Harper.Like so many intelligent modern women,you are asking for the Alpha and the Omega in men.You want the submissive WITH the strong ego.The problem arises when you realize the two are in opposition.Or are they?Ultimately,you want domination,but find no thrill where there is no challenge.You want your own female power to be validated by overcoming a strong guy.After all,any woman can dominate a wimp!It is an ancient dance.You are very,very good at it Harper.
I often find the Alpha/Omega ideas around male identity to be flat, two dimensional, and boring. Alpha, Beta, Omega… That sort of thought pattern leads straight to men who feel as though they are (or should be) Alpha males feeling slighted by the entire world because they’re not treated like Alpha males. You get guys who are so upset they can’t get a date that they turn all that hate and shame onto the women they profess to admire and adore… You get mass shooters, men who don’t understand consent, and poor, sad, self-hating men who, frankly are perfectly fine! There’s no real difference between the “Alpha” male and any other male. And all are worthy, interesting, and have something good to bring to the table.
Breaking any person down to just one character trait and then using that to judge their worth as a person just plain sucks. It’s as stupid a metric as judging a person by their skin color, hair length or place of birth.
I want ~all~ the facets of a person. All of them. The times and places where you feel powerful, in charge, on top of the world, and the parts where there’s room for improvement, flaws, and embarrassing foibles. I want the whole person, not just the paper mask they use to excuse their self perceived failings.
You do make it sound hot, Ms. Harper!
It’s a bit like a marriage really, 2 individuals entering into a contract to the benefit of both, although in this case, it is made clear at the outset, that only one of them will make the final decision on certain things, particular sexual ones.
As with any relationship, communication is the key for BOTH parties to get out of it, what they desire.
Yes! Communication is the key. Without honest, open communication, all relationships are doomed to failure. And the ever-so disingenuous claim of “but I want whatever you want, Mistress” is not honest, open, and it certainly doesn’t count as communication.
You want what I want? Maybe I want you to go clean my bathroom. With your tongue. Augh.
It’s a partnership, and frankly, sometimes I want you to have an opinion about what we’re going to do tonight. I want you to really open up, trust me, and tell me your fantasies, your desires, your deepest, darkest, hidden fears. Give me the marrow, not just the skin deep mask.
This post rang with so much veracity and was so goddamned exciting I almost lept to my feet to applaud right here at My desk! If a potential slave comes to Me claiming he has no tastes, no desires, no boundaries, no soft spots, no fantasies, no goals, no nothing, but is simply a tabula rasa on which he wants Me to imprint Myself, well, how is that presenting Me with a gift of any value? What is there for Me to exploit, manipulate, shape, or push? Even a block of marble has characteristics that make it what it is before the sculptor takes his tools to it in order to shape it into his vision, and those characteristics matter immensely to the overall result! Brava!
Yes! Yes, yes, yes. The pre-existing conditions matter!!! It’s a dance, and I don’t want a manikin, I want a person. I want all, not just a thin veneer of what they think I think I want.
I want them to stop guessing about who I am and what I want, to let go of expectations about me, and trust that I’ll still be here, no matter what they reveal to me. If I’m going to own them, shape them, guide them, then I need to see all of what I’m working with here. Even the bits they’re afraid of or ashamed of. Give me everything, trust me to know my own limits, and to have the self control to contain my reactions to all that you reveal.