My Pork Chop Brings All The Fredischay! 1-800-601-6975

Amazingly enough, this post is not about food, no. It’s about the golden pork chop challenge on the sims 3. You’ve played it right? Well basically it starts as an easter egg hunt, with a lot of confusion – and expletives in simlish – as the sims search for what will ultimately lead to the winner receiving the illustrious golden pork chop.

Za Woka Genava

So there’s this pansexual sim in the game named Goopy Dribsmacker, right? And basically when the game starts he’s in the lead with 64 french hens and 15 easter eggs. He’s pretty much a shoe in to win the golden pork chop. But see, Goopy has a bit of a personality problem. He’s an introvert, with the insanity trait and he also has the “sexual perversion” trait as well. What does this mean? It means Goopy often self sabotages even the most foolproof of opportunities. So just as he was about to discover the rainbow egg with neon pink polka dots, things took a turn for the weird..

Oink If You Love Cheese

You see, Goopy got distracted just as he was about to go into the cave of steak plants, by all the eggs in his inventory. Specifically the cadbury schmooba frenchay egg with the cream filling. The strange music started playing that denoted there was a ghost on the community lot, and suddenly, Goopy grabbed the cadbury egg, shouted “Green iguanas fluing in the sky” and stuck the chocolate egg up his butthole. All of the sims in the surrounding area gasped and exclaimed, “Depwa Spanewash Depla Blah!” and began leaving. One sim even wet herself, causing her mood to plummet and receiving the “paper bag over the head” award.

Where Is My Pork Chop?

Would you like to know who ended up winning the golden pork chop, and if Goopy ever recovered from sticking a cream egg up his hiny hole? Click the accompanying audio to this blog post for the conclusion of this story!

Audio: Conclusion to The Golden Pork Chop

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