abstinence only sex ed sucks phone sex therapy for all 800 356 6169As you know, I’m from Texas, and we have Abstinence Only sex education.

Let me clue you in about exactly what that means, in real world terms. Abstinence Only means that no one in the public educational system is ever taught about birth control, enthusiastic consent (much less how to obtain it), or what to do should you get a STD/STI. That’s right, if you’re on the receiving end of an Abstinence Only sex education, you’ve already been fucked by a system that should have helped you become a well educated adult.

To some people, the opposite of Abstinence Only education is Whore School.

Leaving aside the fact that Whore School sounds kinda awesome, it’s massively shortsighted to assume that the only possible alternative to pure chastity is to become a cum guzzling slut. There are shades of gray in between, I assure you! Plus, assuming that whores are cum guzzling sluts is silly: whores don’t guzzle cum, that’s how you get STD/STI issues.

For those whom Abstinence Only has left utterly screwed, I present Whore School.

That’s right, I’ve decided to say “fuck it” and open a school for whores. Not just a continuation of the Adult Sex Ed series from last year, this is going to take that concept and really run with it. Sex positive, body positive, all gender expressions welcome. Let’s learn how to guzzle cum, get jizz stains out of our favorite bras, and handle all of life’s weird little sexual kinks, fetishes, and turn-ons. Because fuck Abstinence Only education. Grab your bananas and condoms, we’re gonna learn how to fuck safely.