Domination phone sex is the name of the game around here.

A lot of the folks I know in the local scene down here just can’t seem to wrap their heads around what exactly it is I do. They seem to focus on the “phone sex” part and miss the “domination” portion. For an awful lot of people, domination and kinky sex are defined and delimited by the physical actions. Domination seems to de facto require whips and chains, dim dungeons, leather outfits and face to face interactions.

For a group that likes to focus on the chemistry, the intimacy and the mind fuck of domination and submission play, the verbal component of it all gets downplayed a lot.

And that right there is just a crying shame. I have to admit, I used to have the exact same point of view. I thought you had to put your money where your mouth was and swing the whip to have it be (pardon the quotes) “real domination.” Yeah. “Real”, as opposed to what, fake?

Don’t get me wrong here, there are an awful lot of flakes out there who dress up, swing a crop and call themselves dommes.

If that’s what you think it takes to be a ‘real’ domme, well okey dokey then. But trust me, cupcake, any domme worth her salt is going to use her voice on you. She’s going to purr in your ear, talk to your id and your superego at the same time, and wind you up with nothing more than her sweet dulcet tones. You may want to think that a domme is only as good as her flogger, but if she doesn’t have the mind and verbal skills to go along with it, you’re missing a hell of a ride.

For the next party, I think a demonstration may be in order.

I’m picturing taking a submissive, and having them kneel in the center of the room. I’ll stand behind them, so they can’t see me. And I’ll just talk to them. Just words and my voice, winding around them and into them and unraveling them for everyone to see. Domination isn’t in the actions you take, the clothes you wear or even in the words you use. It’s in the attitude, the energy and the intent between two people. Think domination on the phone isn’t “real’? Well then, I dare you to call me and find out for yourself.