So, you want to be my slut slave?
I hope you realize that there are a few requirements for the position of my slut slave. If you want to be mine, you’re going to need to bring your A game to the table. I don’t accept just any needy slut as my own, I have standards, after all. But, I do understand that you have a desire to submit, to kneel for me, to be my own good boy and submissive slave. And so, because I understand and pity your need, I’ve taken the time to write out exactly what you need to do to be considered in the running for the position of Slave to this femdom Mistress.
If you want to be my slutty slave pet, you will need to work on some self improvement first.
I have never in my life found a male over the age of 40 who was capable of cleaning up after himself if in the presence of a female. There’s something about the addition of a woman to any household that renders males into helpless, dirty, pathetic creatures. I despise that. To catch and keep my attention, you need to know how to maintain your living space in immaculate condition. You will need to know how to use Borax, why you don’t mix ammonia and bleach, and you’d better have a habit of fucking sweeping up your beard trimmings or so help me you’ll do it with your tongue.
In addition to a complete helplessness in the face of domestic household chores, males have a tendency to fail in other areas as well. A man who can cook is a man I’ll keep around. And given that acquiring basic cooking skills is as simple as signing up for a cooking class, I have no idea why any male subsists on sandwiches and pizza. Leaving kitchen skills aside, I also demand a male who can work a clothes washer and dryer, and knows how to press a shirt. Fellas, learn how to iron. It adds a level of class and neatness to your appearance, and it really doesn’t take that long to starch a collar.
It’s clear I expect all slut slave applicants to have basic household skills, but I also expect my pets to be erudite and well read.
I own, in my own personal library, over seven hundred physical books, of which a single bookshelf contains fiction (my ebook collection is larger still). I collect poetry, philosophy, spirituality and religious texts. I have a section dedicated to ‘How To’ books, on topics as wide ranging as carpentry to watercolor and back to advanced cooking techniques. I read for fun, for enjoyment, and to improve myself, and I expect you to as well. Each and every city, town, and hamlet has a library: make use of yours. Start on one end and work your way to the other. Discover the joy of inter-library loan, and get your hands on as many texts as you can.
Stage one of the application process to be my slut slave is simple: improve yourself.
Read widely, think big thoughts, and contemplate more than sports statistics. Learn to cook and clean so you live less like a neanderthal and don’t ever fucking expect a woman to pick up after your lazy ass. For bonus points, learn to play a musical instrument, or create some form of art. If you want to be mine, you need to make yourself worthy of my time and attention.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Miss Harper you lay out the rules to being the perfect slave very nicely. Your post should serve as a primer for all the males out there who want to learn how to please a mistress. It’s true that they do tend to get sloppy, when a woman is around, but you will remedy that!!
Lazy sloppy males climb right up my ass in the worst way possible. Ugh!
Howdy Ms Harper. 🙂 You and I have many things in common .. but this post in particular is right up my alley! There’s just something so special about men who are, at their core, big `ole sluts!
What I found interesting and not always easy to find – are those man-sluts that not only know their way around a hammer – but be able to keep up with household chores too! Lordy! Those are the hardest to train
A well rounded man makes a better submissive. They’re harder to find and train, true but they’re so worth it when we do find them. Worth keeping them around, too!
I like this blog a lot, Ms. Harper. As Mistress, we’re inundated with slave requests, so I often remind slaves to make themselves stand out from the masses. Self-improvement is an excellent way to catch the eye of your Mistress. A respectful, obedient, self-sufficient, well-read slave is a treasure, and he’ll get much more attention than the dirty, helpless, pathetic creatures you described.
Have you ever gotten one of those emails that say “hi ur hot can i lick u?” and are clearly sent from an iPhone?!!! I want to know how, in this day of autocorrect and instant spell check, they manage the sheer hubris to send a message like that…
I expect males to take the time to improve themselves. But basic grammar and spelling are an absolute must.