I always feel like I need to start any Tantra post off with a disclaimer, just so the folks who are really extra into Tantra don’t try to come for me. I know, they’re not looking for valid Tantra information on a Fetish Phone Sex Blog, but just in case: one of the hallmarks of a living religious and spiritual practice is that it can be adapted and changed over time to better meet the needs of the people who engage with it. This is an adaptation of actual Tantric practices aimed at a non-religious secular audience. Now, all that out of the way, let’s talk about Tantra for masturbation!

Tantra For Masturbation

Somewhere a venerated elder just felt an icy chill up their spine. Look, I’m not about to say you can use Tantra straight out the gate to experience orgasms that last for hours on end, or that brand new to the practice wankers will be suddenly capable of feats of sexual magic. I am saying that you can use some simple Tantric exercises to increase your personal enjoyment and also reduce stress. You can learn to focus your attention in ways that add to your life in all areas, and if what gets you interested in the first place is focusing on your dick, so be it! Tantra for masturbation is like the little bit of tasty candy that gets you to buy the whole gift basket and learn to sit and meditate.

Just Breathe

One of the most important things you probably aren’t doing right is breathing. I know, you’d think you’d be good at it, you’ve been doing it all your life, but odds are good there’s a better way for you to breathe and get your oxygen distributed to your body. Pay attention to the way you breathe: short and fast can make you feel stressed, anxious, and upset. It also super oxygenates your blood and can make you dizzy, and if you keep doing that too long you may faint. Long slow breaths are great for reducing your stress, calming your heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and making you feel calm and centered. Next time you decide to masturbate, try a breathing pattern meant to increase your awareness and focus on your body.

Long slow deep breaths, in through your nose, hold for a couple seconds, then all the way out through your mouth. You should strive to fully empty your lungs on each exhale, and hold briefly once you’ve done so. Then, control the breath in, you may feel compelled to gulp air, but try to breathe slowly, fully. Practice this a few times without masturbation or touching yourself, then add some gentle touching once you feel like you have the breath pattern down. Most of the time when we’re just going about our day, we breathe shallowly, in the tops of our lungs, and not fully into the entire lung capacity. This breath pattern will push you to be aware of your body in a way that can feel overwhelming and strange, but stick with it!

Just Masturbate

You’ll notice that I tell you to masturbate, but I’m not telling you to cum. In point of fact, orgasm (well, ejaculation) is not the goal of traditional Tantra! I’ll point you towards some hints I’ve dropped in the past about how to decouple orgasm from ejaculation, because Tantra discourages male ejaculation. But not orgasms! In advanced Tantra practices, you’ll find people who can so solidly separate orgasm from ejaculation that they can experience those fabled hours long orgasms. You will not be able to do that if you’re just starting out. But that’s your end goal with Tantra for masturbation: lots of pleasure, very little mess!

Keep your breath pattern in mind, focusing on pulling in complete breaths very slowly. You may begin to feel the tingles of arousal as you simply breathe. Focus on those feelings, and let them fill your mind and your focus. Gently touch the parts of your body that feel the tingles most strongly. Erogenous zones tend to feel very tingly and sensitive, but you can also try touching other parts of yourself. Just the tips of your fingers, barely any real contact, just enough to move your skin over your muscles, but certainly not as if you were trying to massage any part of your deep tissue. Keep breathing! If you find yourself holding your breath or trying to breathe faster, consciously and deliberately bring yourself back to the full complete breaths. Breath and gentle touch should combine to bring you a state of hyper-aware arousal. Go with it, until you feel that you can not maintain this state any longer, and then you can attempt to add direct genital stimulation. You may find that the habit of a lifetime takes over and you wind up just masturbating. That’s fine too!

If you breathe and then masturbate, try denying or delaying your orgasm as long as you possibly can. Yes, I’m a huge fan of orgasm delay and denial, chastity, and even ruined orgasms, but the reason I’m a fan is because Tantra embraces all of those things! All of those fun kinky things can increase your ability to attain Tantric states of ecstasy (that’d be orgasm, in plain language.) The longer you can put off your ejaculation, the more likely you are to experience orgasm without ejaculation, and that’s basically the goal of most modern Tantra practitioners.

Ready To Put It Into Practice?

Tantra is easier with a partner. Someone to breathe with you, guide you and help you reach those wonderful heights of ecstasy. You’ll likely want someone experienced, who’s been practicing Tantra for a while, and who actually really does practice Vajrayana. That’s me! Give me a call and I can help walk you through basic breathing and some simple Tantra for masturbation (and if you want to go deeper, I have a reading list to give you!)

Your Tantric Mistress, Harper