You know by now that we like to give you some sort of a promotion or special deal each month, just to keep your attention and make your budget happy. For July, to beat this awful scorching Summer heat, we’ve got some sizzling deals for you, on everything from early morning sessions, text based sessions, and all of our erotic audios and erotic assignments! Keep reading, I’ll tell you all the details of our Sizzling Summer Deals.

Do you love early morning masturbation?

Look, no judgment from me, but some people are the very epitome of an early riser. If you love to wake and bake, er, I mean, wake and shake (a dick), you can do that! And you’ll get to enjoy a ten minute call for just twenty dollars between three am and nine am Eastern. Want something longer? I do! ahem. You can do a longer session and just take that $9.90 off the top. Wake up and stroke this summer before the sun rises, beat the heat and your meat, and do something dirty before the day has even really begun.

Summertime means a full house!

For those of you who didn’t use a condom, summer means all those people who usually would be off at college for their education are back home again, underfoot, requiring rides to the mall (or whatever it is the hip young folks are doing these days.) If you’ve got extra folks in your house, that can make finding some privacy for a little “Me Time” tricky. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered: Sexy Texting. You can be as dirty and slutty as you want if you’re typing, quietly, in your home office doing a little “work” for the “office”. No noise to try to stifle, no phone extensions anyone can pick up and listen in on, no suspicious sounds or weirdness with juggling a phone. Just you, your keyboard, and a box of tissues for your inevitable mess. Grab 20% off all texting sessions when you hit Sexytexting.com, and yes, this also includes Skype sessions paid through the site.

Want to know what’s better than being able to call your favorite Mistress?

Your mistress’ voice on demand! You know you love that! All Erotic Audios and Erotic Assignments are on sale with coupon code SIZZLINGSUMMER. That’s all one word, Sizzling Summer. Put that in when you check out, and boom, an instant 20% off. Yes, I have audios in the Audio Store, and there will be more coming soon, too! Want to try the Anal and Cum Eating Training Calendar? Voila, 20% off for that, as well! Got an idea for an audio you think I should do? Drop me an email with your script, and if it’s any good you may get to see it in the store, too.

How’s that for some deals to beat the heat and your meat?

What are you most excited about? Early morning wank sessions, buying one of every erotic audio in the store, or finding some time for sexy texting? If it helps, I can type nearly 80 words per minute, and you can clearly see how well I put words together to tell a tale. Texting with me is a whole new world of awesome fun, and I highly recommend you give it a try if privacy is at a premium in your house this summer.

For those of you in the path of the smoke from the wildfires, remember that your handy N95 mask can help block particulates in the air, like smoke! Wear a mask and protect your lungs. And for those of us in the hot part of the country, drink plenty of water, use your sunblock, and try not to overheat. Unless you’re on the phone with me, in which case overheating is just another service I offer!

Stay cool, and enjoy our summer deals!

Your very hot Mistress, Harper