I do love to mix things up in the kitchen, and not necessarily in a dirty way! If you’re like me, you love the part of the winter season that is hanging out with friends and sharing tasty treats. Sadly, this year we can’t gather together to ring in the wassail or new year, but, we can get pretty close. That’s why for this countdown day, I’m sharing some tasty recipes with you! Here are six Christmas recipes to try!

No holiday gathering would be complete without Mistress Harper’s Mulled Wine!

You’ll need a big pot, a ladle, and wine for this one. I start with two bottles of a nice red wine, merlot or burgundy. You want a robust flavor, with fruity tones, but don’t go overboard on price here, because we’re gonna adulterate and heat this. Grab a nice big orange, a couple lemons, and a lime, as well as some spices (whole star anise, sticks of cinnamon, and whole cloves!). While you’re at it, get some of those whole uncooked cranberries, and some fresh rosemary, too. In your big pot, combine your wine, the sliced citrus, and two cups of sugar. Stir around, and heat gently, just until it steams a bit. Serve warm, with some floating cranberries and a sprig of rosemary in there.

Keep it simple, that’s the key to my entire list of Six Christmas Recipes! Simple!

Honest, I’ve tried to keep things pretty simple for you… take this one: crudités! Grab a platter, a bunch of your favorite veggies, and chop then arrange in a pretty pattern. I admit, I’m sometimes a bit bad, and will arrange the veg to form pictures. If you serve two dips for your platter, you can use the dip bowls as the ‘balls’, and form a shaft out of the veg, and have a penis platter! (Put the mushrooms at the head!)
Here’s two for one in the list of six Christmas recipes to try: dip for your crudité platter: The first is very simple. Just get yourself a packet of Ranch dressing mix, and make it according to the directions! Use the dip instructions, and it’ll come out so creamy and thick! You will need buttermilk and some real mayonaise to make it, so you’ve already got the bits for the second dip on hand. Add shaved parmesan, chopped chives, and garlic powder (taste as you go and make a truly unique dip!)

Oh, and for you cum eating sluts out there, if you want to add your secret ingredient to a bowl of dip just for yourself, no one will know!

Speaking of cum eating, with this set of six Christmas recipes to try this year, I cannot recommend enough getting yourself a little frother. Fellas, if you’ve never whipped a load and then made use of your actual man butter, you need to try it! On toasted bread, in your coffee, or even as a cute little topper for a slice of pumpkin pie, you can whip your load of jizz and then incorporate it into all sorts of fun recipes!

But, when it comes to things that are whipped and used in a recipe, absolutely nothing beats Divinity.

I just have to share this recipe with you, and I’m so sorry, but it’s not simple at all. In fact, you’re gonna need a candy thermometer and a stand mixer for this one. Divinity is one of those things my grandmother used to make around Christmastime, and it just brings me right back to trying to steal a bit while it was still warm and hadn’t set yet. Think fudge, only it’s not chocolate. She always used the Betty Crocker recipe, and would make six or seven batches for both gift giving and because everyone in the family would just gorge ourselves on it. You first make hard ball candy with a ton of sugar, and then you whip the daylights out of some egg whites. Combine, add some vanilla and nuts (grandmother used to also add maraschino cherries!), and let it cool.

Don’t forget that the Winter Specials are still going strong!

Give me a call and earn your way towards free calls in 2021! Take good care of yourselves, and be nice to one another. Happy Holidays, and eat up!

Your Kitchen Mistress, Harper