Have you ever wanted to start a Tantric practice, but gotten stuck right off the bat? It’s super common to set yourself a lofty goal and then get bogged down in minutiae. You can read all about how great erotic Tantric meditation is, how it can lead to amazing orgasms and intense erotic encounters, but a real practice is a lot less glamorous than what you’re imagining. For one thing, Tantra is not just about your genitals! Let me hammer this point home: Tantra is not just a sexual practice that you can drag out when you want some special sex. Tantra is a life changing, intense practice for your whole existence, health, and life. Here’s how you can start yourself a long lasting and well structured Tantric practice for both pleasure and health.
What is Tantra?
Tantra is a practice that arose out of Hinduism and Buddhism somewhere between four and six thousand years ago. Tantra is not a religion, but is like prayer; a lot of the major religions of the world have prayer as an aspect of practice, which makes prayer itself something distinct from any given religion. Tantra is a set of behaviors and practices that can be used by believers in any faith, or in no faith even! To practice Tantra, one merely needs to engage in the behaviors that are part of Tantric practice. I know, that seems circular, but it’s actually really simple. Just like to practice breathing you have to breathe, to practice Tantra you have to do the things that are Tantric.
Tantric practice is pretty simple, actually.
Tantra includes meditation, focused attention, chanting and affirmations, and at least a nod or two towards the divine and spiritual aspects of the Universe. You can do a lot of Tantric work without ever dipping your toe into the more esoteric parts of the practice involving spirits, devas, and demons. (Not that kind of demon, remember that Tantra pre-dates both Christianity and Judaism, so, different paradigm!) If you’ve ever sat and meditated, or focused on a mantra or affirmation, you’ve done a type of Tantra! The word “Tantra”, in fact, means “practice”! It’s literally just a set of tools that work well together to help human beings build happier, healthier lives.
So, let’s talk about your Tantric practice, through the lens of being a filthy pervert with deviant desires!
You know I advocate for a no-shame, no-guilt, pleasure positive stance when it comes to all your sexual desires, so don’t worry that I’m about to tell you all about the joys of a celibate and aesthete styled life. I mean, if that’s what you’re in to, by all means. We can talk about chastity! But, for the purposes of this discussion, let’s assume that you’re a fairly normal human being with some sexual kinks and desires that maybe make you feel like a dirty pervert and deviant oddball. While older and more conservative forms of Tantra do strongly advocate for chastity, a modern Tantra has room in it for an understanding of sexual desire and needs, and of what a healthy sexuality looks like.
The traditional focus of Tantric practice has been chastity and celibacy.
It’s a cornerstone of traditional Tantra that orgasm and ejaculation are things to be avoided, because they sap your vital energies and spirit. From a modern, more Western point of view, we understand that pleasure and orgasms are good things, that, rather than diminishing one’s energy and willpower, actually help revitalize and restore us. Tantra must grow and evolve in order to remain relevant and vital to modern humans, or else the practice becomes some rarefied and esoteric practice practiced by only a few devotees. I want your Tantric practice to support and uphold all the aspects of your being, including your sexual desires and needs. A good place to blend traditional Tantra and modern sensibilities is with some edging and orgasm delay.
What does a modern Tantric practice look like?
You can incorporate aspects of Tantra into your everyday life, and increase your happiness and health, and long term pleasure! Try these, one at a time, adding in elements to suit your needs and interest over time.
- Five minutes of yoga stretching before you settle in to masturbate, or to sleep, can help your body feel more limber and relaxed, as well as create changes in your limbic system that lead to greater health. Try a Sun Salutation to start, especially in the morning, or if you feel yourself lagging in energy, or right before you masturbate.
- Edge at least once before you orgasm. Edging and orgasm delay can be incredibly beneficial for your health and mental well being! You’ll enjoy a stronger orgasm, with deeper release, and really get that limbic release you’re craving, if you at least put off orgasm a little bit.
- Try some affirmations or a mantra! You can make your own affirmation up, or find some phrase online that especially appeals to you. Try variations on something positive or uplifting about yourself that you can repeat while you meditate, masturbate, or brush your teeth! “I am happy, healthy, and horny”, or “I experience my body with joy”, or even “I’m a slut and I love it!” Go for something positive, no negative self talk allowed in an affirmation! Create an affirmation and repeat it to yourself either internally, or by saying your affirmation outloud.
- Meditate! Try an app to help you, or simply set a timer for a minute, and sit. Try to clear your mind, but if you catch yourself woolgathering, don’t get frustrated or upset, just bring your attention back to yourself. Meditate for short periods of time frequently through your day. You can help yourself focus on your meditation through the use of an affirmation or mantra, too.
Build yourself a Tantric practice, and then… practice it!
Practice makes perfect, so one thing you’ll need to do with you Tantra is to actually sit and DO it. A Tantra is a practice, and you have to actually apply the practice. Use the calendar app on your smart phone to set a reminder to yourself daily to meditate, drink water, and wash your face. Make it a part of your daily routine for best results: your Tantra shouldn’t be just a sexy thing you do every now and then to spice up the bedroom. Tantra should be every day, rain or shine, and it should be such an intrinsic part of your routine that you forget that it’s Tantra.
Let me know how your practice goes for you!
Your Tantric Life Coach, Harper
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