Let’s talk about oral sex. All about oral sex…

Let’s face it: putting your face on other people’s genitals is a lot of fun. Hell, having other people’s faces up in your junk is fun! There’s very little in life that’s hotter than really good oral sex, and there’s absolutely no reason for you ~not~ to be having all the oral sex ever. That said, it is possible to have bad oral sex, and it’s possible to do stupid things with your mouth and genitals that can lead to loads of regret. That’s why I think sex education really needs to include some advice about oral.

oral sex how to 800 601 7259First things first: All About Oral Sex Safety.

The bad news is that you can indeedy deed transmit and catch STDs and STIs through oral sex. Any contact between mucosal membranes can result in the transfer of disease and illness. Your anus, mouth, and the head of your penis all have mucosal membranes. My vagina has a metric ton of mucosal membranes. All of these, if you have a STD or if your partner has an STD, can make your life more difficult. Luckily, most of the things you’re likely to be exposed to can be cured. (Let’s not talk about the new resistant strain of Gonorrhea that our previous easy cure no longer works for, because, well, actually, let’s do talk about that… later.) Even most of the things we can’t cure, like viral infections, we can ameliorate with anti-viral medications. That said, if you experience anything at all weird with your genitals after unprotected sexual contact, including oral sex, go to your doctor, fess up, and get a diagnosis and medication.

How to protect yourself when sucking a cock:

As for protection for oral sex: when sucking a cock, use a condom. Go for a non-latex, unlubed condom, because lots of folks have latex sensitivities, and  the lube used on most ready to fuck condoms tastes like plastic ass. Don’t bother with a flavored lube, they taste terrible (in general), and if you need to cover up the taste of the penis you’re sucking, don’t suck that dick! Clean dick tastes good, or at worst, like skin. If you can taste anything bitter, bread-like, or otherwise like anything other than skin, don’t suck that cock. Ditto for vaginas.

{Warning for grossness: if you suck a dick with a yeast problem, you can get a yeast infection in your mouth.}

Want to lick pussy and ass? There’s protection for that!

For vaginas and assholes: use a dental dam. Store bought, plastic wrap, or a cut open glove all work fantastically. Put lube on the vagina or ass, then the dental dam, then go to town. If you switch between ass and pussy, change dental dams, because ass to mouth or ass to pussy is a good way to give your partner a super fun infection. (not that fun, really.) If you want to lick your partner’s asshole, the good news is they don’t need to use an enema, as sticking your tongue actually into an anus is a terrible idea, but they do need to wash really well back there first. Or, just use a dental dam.

If you need more information stat, because you just can’t wait to use your mouth on someone, you can listen to Whore School Lesson Twenty: Blowjobs, Cunnilingous, and Oral Sex.

Remember: be safe, but have fun! All About Oral Sex will continue in Part Two, with tips and tricks for good oral.