I’ve had a couple of people request this topic, and let me tell you, it’s a doozy.

When it comes to the question of how to move as though you were a woman, well, it’s complex. There’s a lot about body language that is deeply learned while we’re growing up. From having your mom tap you on the knee in church as a reminder to keep your knees together to watching your friends being teased for being ‘manly’ when they play sports, there are thousands of reminders given to girls about exactly how we’re supposed to hold ourselves and act. So I’m going to break this particular topic into sections to make it easier to handle.

Our first topic is going to be ‘How to Sit’.

Yes, gentlemen, there is a specific way to sit in a chair that is more female than male. First, I want you to examine how you’re sitting right this second. Where are you knees in relation to each other? What are you doing with your feet? Are you sitting with you back against the backrest, are you slouched over to one side, are you fidgeting? Now think about how you see women sitting.

When you’re in a dress, you absolutely cannot sit with your thighs apart. Your knees should be together, and if you insist on crossing your legs, do so at the ankle, not the knee. Your spine should be straight, and you should not lean back against the backrest or against the arms of the chair. Remember, women have all been socialized to take up as little space as possible and to be aware of the body space of everyone around them. Watch how men and women sit differently in public — guys will spread out and take up all of their seat space, while women will sit smaller, with elbows tucked in tight against our sides, our legs together and feet tucked under our seats.

Next week I’ll talk about shoes and how to walk.

I know, you’re wondering how walking as a woman could be different from walking as a man. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you all about it. Your homework, should you choose to accept it, is to get out a pair of heels and practice walking in them without falling over. Your goal should be no turned ankles, no embarrassing sudden falls and a nice smooth, swinging stride. I’ll have tips to help you refine your stride next week, but for now, we’re going for comfort and ease in wearing your stiletto heels.

I’ll see you in class!