With only two days until Christmas, are you feeling the pressure yet? You’re not? Oh, I see, cool as a cucumber, calm as a frozen lake, absolutely feeling fine are we… Well, I can fix that. It’s time for two aching balls! That’s right, you need to feel the pressure and the pinch of the slow and inexorable slide to the big day!
Consider this feminism’s payback for the gender divide at Christmas.
Did you know that most of the Christmas celebration set-up, maintenance, and tear down is all planned, coordinated, and executed by the women in any given household? It’s true! Who plans the meal, arranges to purchase the ingredients, and then spends several days in the kitchen preparing the turkey, sides, breads, and deserts? In the vast majority of households, it’s the women, not the men, who take on the bulk of the Christmas work. That’s why this year, you’re going to either chip in and help, or you can enjoy the pain of two aching balls.
Two aching balls for Christmas!
Here’s your choice, fellas: go offer your assistance to the folks doing the work to make your Christmas Day experience a lot of fun. Peel some potatoes, help knead some bread dough, clean the entire house top to bottom so everything gleams. Go forth and put some sweat equity into the holiday! OR… reach down between your legs and give those testicles a good solid squeeze. Oh, and once won’t be enough. Set a reminder on your phone to crush your balls for me every 15 minutes. That’s right, you’re going to have two aching balls, or you can go work around the house. Your choice!
Consider this my contribution to your wife or girlfriend’s Christmas Day.
Go forth and contribute to the household! Or suffer. Either way, a woman will be pleased with you. Me, I’ll be pleased. Good boy!
I cleeaned up all the wrapping paper and boxes; served dinner, and distracted the kiddos while dinner was prpared!
hm, well, helping keep the little people occupied can be a chore, but, did you wash dishes after dinner? I’m sure your partner would also like to get to spend time with the small folks, hanging out and playing around…