Just like “Queer” is a confusing word, “Trans” can really throw people for a loop.
If you think of gender as a spectrum instead of as a binary, you’ll be getting a whole lot closer to what seems to be the reality of gender in humans. You see, we’re not just either male or female; as with almost everything related to humanity, it’s more complicated than that.
There are three main components to people’s sexuality: sex, gender and attraction.
All three of these component parts of human sexuality are spectral. I mean, they’re not binary, they’re more like shades of gray. Male, Female and Intersex (yep, three biological sexes in our species!) are the names for the ‘types’ of genitalia. Your gender is composed of both what you decide it is and the external societal and cultural artifacts that you employ to express said gender. Sexual attraction refers to who you find sexually arousing.
Confused yet? Just wait.
Imagine for a moment that you were born with the biological sex of a male, but the interior gender identification of a female. Or vice versa. Picture being dead certain that you were born in the wrong body. Whether you come to that realization gradually over time or are just certain in your bones that it’s true from day one, feeling that alien in your own skin is a special kind of hell.
For trans people, there can be relief.
From dressing in the clothing of one’s professed gender, living as that gender all the way to gender reassignment surgery, there are things that can be done to ease the ache of living in the wrong body. Sadly, there is very little that can be done to ease the pain of loosing loved ones who can’t accept the gender issues of trans people.
Lest we forget the third axis of our human sexuality spectra, let’s visit attraction for a moment.
No matter what gender you identify as (male, female, both, neither, something else…) the odds are that you do experience some form of sexual attraction. Yes, there are asexual people who really truly don’t experience any sexual urges, but they are vanishingly rare. Overwhelmingly, humans experience sexual urges; humans have the urge to have sex with all sorts of people of all sorts of gender expressions. This goes for trans people as well! Not shockingly at all, trans people also get horny and want to fuck. Tgirls want to do sexual things, transmen want to have their cock sucked. Nothing about gender negates sexual attraction; and just because you may identify with the gender your biology matches this doesn’t mean you can’t be attracted to a trans person.
God knows I think a hot chick with a huge dick is hot. And a guy who used to be a woman? Sign me up!
If I may, I don’t want to be a pain or seem like I’m obsessed but I just have to say, “Thank You!” Reading and listening to your blog is absolutely fascinating. I love the way you explain everything. I would like to think there is some special sissy that gets to worship the ground you walk on, at least occasionally. 😉
Aw, thank you Davina! I try to be just as factual and honest as I can, and leaven that with some compassion and understanding. I’m glad that I seem to have found the perfect mix!
I do have some lovely people in my life who from time to time get to follow me around like little puppy dogs, all worshipful and happy. In fact, this coming weekend there’s a party, and I already have emails from folks asking if I’ll be there, and if so, would I do various mean and nice things to them! Just gives me a little glow when I get such positive responses to me.
I figure, it’s nice when they want to play the first time; it’s really awesome when they want it again!
I absolutely agree with Davina! I’m not obsessed with you either (LOL) but you’re smart and sexy that frankly that is like catnip to Moi. ~grinz~
You know about Buck Angel, right? WOAH! The opposite of what we normally do on the phone in our Mistress roles here, but DAMN he is yummy! 🙂
Here, pussy pussy pussy… I have a mousie! with a bell!
Actually, I had to take all the bells out of my cat’s toys, their habit of playing at the crack of freaking dawn was killing me! 😉
I hadn’t heard of Buck Angel, but I have now! Holy hotness, Batman! I need to get more porn…
Oh, there’s a singer I love love love, Alexander James Adams. I fell in love with him when he was a she, and he’s made the transition and now is singing as who he really is! From what I understand, the change can wreak havok on voices, but he’s really come through shining!
I was reading your most recent movie review and it made me think about just how great your page is to follow. Always useful and relevant information, like I really needed another reason to follow your page. 😉
But then I was compelled to come back here because I looked at your little diagram again and it got me to thinking, (very dangerous), and I was wondering if you thought it was possible for a human being to reside in more than one spot on your diagram at the same time? For instance, let’s say a guy enjoyed playing a multitude of roles. I have read that some believe there is no such thing as a “bi-sexual” guy. I believe it was their intension to put forth that a guy was either completely straight or he was not. Personally, I think any human can be anything they want to be, anytime they want.
I hope you don’t mind me taking up so much comment space without your permission. I have a tendency to get carried away on a keyboard. But I was curious about your thoughts on whether a guy could play the role of a manly-man, (assuming he had the equipment 😉 ), and then, turn around and agree to a completely submissive role?
I most definitely do think that it’s possible for a person to occupy more than one set of coordinates on that graph. For one thing, as I define it, your gender is defined by a set of characteristics that are totally changeable! What you wear, how you act, the way you speak and how you think of yourself are all things that are very maleable.
People go through a lot of different gender presentations, even in the course of a day! In one conversation at work you’ll be submissive, polite, dude who gets things done, and in another you’re ball busting badass boss (b’s for the win!). During the day you wear a suit and command your minions and at night you’re in panties panting in the corner of you bedroom listening to your Mistress’s every whim.
Even your sexual orientation or attraction can change over time. One day you’re thinking you’d never do x, y or z, and over time you start to wonder… behavior changes, which effects your hormones, which rewires your nervous system, which changes your behavior…
I think a lot of people get caught up in the idea that who they are is who they’ve always been and always will be, and that’s just not true. We all change, all the time, in some really interesting ways. So, yeah, you can be the manly man one day and the simpering sweet thing the next. And have fun doing it!
As for long comments: no worries! As you can see, I too tend to abuse the keyboard!
(curtsy), Thank you Ms Harper. I really like the way you think. You really are one incredible Lady!