There’s a lot of nuance to erotic humiliation games.
When you’re at your most vulnerable, you’re open to all sorts of situations that can lead to humiliation. The humiliation of being vulnerable is one of the scariest forms of humiliation play. The reason it’s so scary, so terrifying, lies in our socialization and culture: to be vulnerable is to be weak, open to rejection and ridicule, and we’ve all been taught to avoid vulnerability and therefore weakness.
There’s a lot that is humiliating about being vulnerable, especially for males.
This is one of those uniquely gendered humiliation games. Females also feel embarrassed when we’re made to feel vulnerable, but we’ve been taught all our lives about how to deal with that embarrassment and vulnerability. Women are more vulnerable in general than men are, and therefore we deal with it better. Strip a man of his clothes and have him kneel before a fully clothed dominatrix, and it’s likely he’s never felt so very vulnerable before in his entire life. And because males are taught to avoid vulnerability at all costs, he has little to no coping skills to help him deal with his newfound weakness.
When I play erotic humiliation games, I pay attention to the things that make you feel vulnerable.
Is it being naked in front of me? Having me measure your genitalia to see how you compare to ‘average’ males? Confessing all your dirty, perverted fantasies? What is it that awakens that vulnerability in you, that makes you so deeply embarrassed that you can’t even meet my eyes?
Opening up that vulnerable center of yourself is good for you.
By practicing being weak, vulnerable, and defenseless, you learn how to cope. You learn by doing, after all. So let’s help you learn to manage those parts of your life where you are vulnerable, and weak, and utterly, pathetically, defenseless. You’ll learn and have an erotically good time, all at once! And if, in the future, you find yourself feeling vulnerable and then helplessly turned on, well. Good.
I was just thinking about this in respect to CFNM.
CFNM was one of the first kinks I discovered after getting online. To me what I like about it is hard to define, but I think to a large extent it is symbolic of privilege.
The women have the privilege of being clothed, and the privilege of keeping the man exposed and vulnerable. Vulnerability is sexy, makes me feel erotic anyway, even when it isn’t necessarily an erotic situation.
The very fact that the women are clothed makes it different from nudism where the beauty of the human body is celebrated. Instead it is the vulnerability of the man in the presence of women that is being celebrated, making it a kink context that nudism is not.
CFNM is also different than exhibitionism to me, with exhibitionism the privilege is with the person expressing their exhibitionism but for me anyway with CFNM the only privilege the male has is the privilege of obedience to woman.
I’ve never done it in real life, but the feelings it invokes in fantasy are really special.
There are a lot of ways to evoke vulnerability in a man, but yes, CFNM is a big one. There’s just something vulnerable in being naked while in the presence of someone wearing clothes. They are hidden while you are exposed… It’s a lovely thing to play with.
In all of Your experience, Ms. Harper, You must have some nose for vulnerability in Your pets – like a bloodhound. Divulging and confessing certainly bring me to that state, as You indicated in this post.
I do love the rush of being trusted. Because that’s the flipside of vulnerability. You’re vulnerable, and you trust me with that, and I get the charge. mmm
If there’s someone I trust to be vulnerable, it’s definitely you Harper!
d’awww.
see, that’s my happy button, right there. 😀
My vulnerable side comes out only when I am actually tied up…