Sunday, March 3rd 2019, I did a show for Whore School about the importance of Experimentation.
While, yes, being willing to try new things is incredibly important for submissives who are just starting out in the kinky world, I really wanted to focus on the importance of having an attitude of openness to experimentation for all sorts of people, in all sorts of circumstances. You see, being open to new experiences will stand anyone in good stead throughout our lives. Any time you get into a routine, a rut, and realize that it’s been ages since you tried a new restaurant, or walked a different walking path, or went to a new club or tried a new hobby… you’re missing out.
In kink, experimentation is key.
I tend to think of kink and bdsm play as a type of art. It’s ephemeral, performance based, and hard to capture in lasting form, but it is definitely art. And in art, experimentation is how you push the boundaries of your craft further. You try new things, sometimes you fail at them, sometimes you have a rousing success, but you keep trying new stuff. A variation on a theme, or a new twist to the technique. As a top, you experiment while keeping safety in mind at all times; your art requires a partner, and that partner trusts you not to cause lasting harm to them. So your experimentation needs to be within certain boundaries, with just enough variation to introduce a new result, but not so much that you hurt people more than you wanted.
In life, experimentation is KEY!!!
Without change, life becomes a boring beige cage. Try something new and see what happens! What if you made your meatloaf recipe but spiced it with garam masala? What if you blindfolded yourself before you started to jerk off? What happens if you try one size up from your regular butt plug? Does that warming lube really work?
Start with a question, and then experiment to find the answer. No matter what the usual answer is, vary your routine and try something new. Cooking techniques, housecleaning practices, record keeping and tracking at work, masturbation and sex… Experiment!
Ms. Harper,
Such great thoughts! I think at times experimentation comes down to expanding limits. I know that over the time we’ve been together, Jack and I have experimented with things that neither of us thought we were interested in and now they are part of what we do regularly. It’s always good to push a bit out of your comfort zone.
Ms. Delia