Let’s get kinky, and fuck like God’s watching!
Sometimes I get in the mood to really piss off the religious right. Those times call for unholy blasphemy sex. I’m not talking about the sorta vanilla Baby Jesus Butt Plug, although for the chronically vanilla that can be quite a thrill; I’m talking about let’s fuck on the altar and call God a damn pussy, bathe in the baptismal, and use pages from the Bible to blow our noses, kinky fucking awesome sex. Let’s pick a denomination of Christianity and go out of our way to fucking piss those losers off. Jesus died for your sins, eh? Well, can you blow me for mine? I’ve got a huge thick strap on cock that’ll make you think you done died and gone to heaven once you start cumming like a little bitch on it.
Unholy blasphemy sex can be really fun.
You should give it a try, sometime. C’mon, you know you’re a sinner, so why try to hide it? Why pretend that you’re so fucking righteous, that you’ve never committed a mortal sin, or a venal sin, (hell, how many of you ever so righteous mother fuckers know the difference between a mortal and venal sin, anyway?!) You go to church and then feel so fucking good about yourselves, and then go right back to hating your neighbors and campaigning to strip people different from you of their civil rights, all in the name of your Prince of Peace… so go on, jump into the deep end, commit some unholy blasphemy sex games and admit the truth: you’d do literally anything in the name of your own pleasure, no matter how depraved and fucked up.
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Harper, I must say I am deeply offended. Really deeply offended.
Using pages from a Bible to blow your nose?
Bibles tend to have really thin paper that is perfect for rolling joints, how could you waste it like that to blow your nose?
I like my wee little ecig that I got on my road trip up to Colorado. It has this tiny little chamber for finely ground herb, and it’s so neat and clean and you never wind up with a soggy end because someone slobbered on the doob.
Ms Harper, have you been hanging out with Ms Brighton? 🙂
uhm,… maybe?
yeah, I have been. oops?
Ms. Harper,
This post reminded me of one of my blasphemous fantasies. I want tog et one of those fetishy, rubber/PVC nun’s habits, strap-on my harness and go to town on JAck’s ass! Alas, this seems to be one of his limits. He keeps telling me we do that and we’re going to Hell. As if that will be the straw that breaks the camels back!
@Delia,
It was during the time when I first started seriously doubting my religious faith that I first came to LDW.
I had doubts about organized religion for a very long time. If listen to most evangelicals, you will hear them say Jesus had many arguments with the Jews of his day.
But me, maybe because of my autism never saw it that way. He was a Jew, his disciples were Jews, and the large crowds of people that came to hear him speak while probably not exclusively Jewish were largely Jewish.
Jesus didn’t have a problem with Jews, that’s anti-semitism that has crept into Christianity quite possibly from very early on. What Jesus had a problem with was organized religion and the way the organized religion was oppressing the people that it was suppose to be a blessing to. That’s how I saw it.
But when I was studying to be a pastor and preached sermons along those lines, I got into trouble with the denomination for it.
Interesting that many of the prophets of old also got into trouble. I’m guessing most of them, they weren’t neurotypical.
One of the things that separates humans from other an*mals is that we have both a desire to know why things are the way they are, and we have a lust for power.
Before the scientific method gave us a logically orderly way to investigate the why, religion filled that need. But for many, religion also gave them a means to obtain the power they lusted for, and that is still the case.
Jesus, yes he almost certainly existed. Or Joshua as his name actually should be translated into English. Virgin birth is kind of doubtful for many biological reasons, such as the lack of a Y Chromosome in Mary.
The stories about him, many of them probably happened but were embellished for the purpose of the lust of power.
With respect to hell – Hell is not a Jewish concept, Hades was a Greek concept. Given that Jesus was a Jew and Christianity, which spread after his d*eath initially spread among the Greek community, it seems very likely that Hell is an addition from the Greeks that Jesus knew nothing of. Greeks also interesting have virgin birth stories that predate Jesus.
The few places where Jesus mentioned what could be thought of as Hell are almost certainly Greek additions to the oral traditions, but the most clear place is in the parable of the Sheep and the Goats and in that parable, the people who went to the “lake of fire” were those who chose not to help others. Kind of like “health and wealth” Evangelicals today, who blame the poor for being poor and say they need to demonstrate their faith by giving large amounts of their meager incomes to the ministries.
Anyway my point is, even if there is a God, I don’t believe there is a hell and I do believe that if there is a God, she is very disgusted with organized religion.
She might even look kindly on defiling the icons organized religion creates 😉
Harper, You’re perfect!
My dark Lordess Brighton has given me the most marvelous life by setting me free and now to have you in our food is quite heavenly, for lack of a better word!
Your absolute lust and desire for direct blasphemy, heresy, and destruction of any resemblance of this hypocryte’s faith is EXACTLY why Brighton, whose buttpucker wrinkles own my soul and existence, brought you around to play with me! And there’s nothing playful about it! Direct, absolute, complete, no nonsense pleasure at the hands of such wise, sexual, enlightened women is the reason I was given a set of balls! I hope I please you and that you’ve enjoyed me with my dark Lordess Brighton’s discretion! I value you more than each of the three houses I’ve built on separate evangelical missions to Mexico could have possibly been valued by those dumb Christian poor mexican families we “blessed” through our “God’s Good works”! Hahaha
I can hear Brighton cackle now!
Harper you’re a true find!
Xoxoxo
Oh just you wait, churchmouse…. We’re hardly done! Muahahahahaha!
@Alice, as Blood Sweat & Tears sang in “And When I Die”.
“Swear there ain’t no heaven and pray there ain’t no hell”
Goddess Harper:
I love you dearly and thoroughly enjoy or sessions together. However, your post does offend my faith in The Lord My God. I readily admit that I am a sinner (like all of us are) and do my best not to judge others actions (just take them for what they are) as that is way above my pay grade. I do not want or seek power over anyone except myself and want this for all humans on this earth (Freedom & Liberty for All). In closing, although I am a naughty little sissy slut (I believe God made me who I am) I do believe in The Lord my God and have given my life over to his control. Therefore, for me, doing things like what you have described and desecrating who the lord is and what he stands for is not for me. I love you and I believe God loves you. You are in my thoughts (naughty ones, lol) and my prayers.
Darling, it’s all in good clean dirty fun and games.
You know I’m not Christian, right? It’s not a secret. But I was raised very very conservatively fundamentalist Christian. So every now and then, it’s just so damn good to turn around and poke those ever so righteous assholes right in the eye. 😉
I know not everyone will find the humor or enjoyment in everything that I write, and that’s ok. But, please, don’t waste your energy praying for me. Instead, take that energy and hop down to the homeless shelter and serve up a hot meal in my name. Or donate a nice fat check to the food bank. Do something better with your efforts than just praying for me. Make the world better, ‘k?
Oh hell yes!!! Sign me the fuck up!!!! Blasphemy phone sex is right up there in my top five favorite calls. I am not Christian either even though I grew up in a Christian household. I do agree that it’s fun to poke at the self righteous fuckers, however blasphemy may not be for everyone. But it damn fuckin sure is for me!
Let’s get together, you and I, and call up some demons and shit. Succubi for the win!
Pick me, pick me!
Bought another Bible since mine always end up covered with cum! Hehehe……..wink!
You do like to go through your so-called “Holy Book” a lot. Maybe we should have you look up specific verses to jizz all over. How about the one where it’s a sin to spill your seed on the ground?
Hello again Ms. Harper.
I am the same caller who choose the name ” MakeMe” in your other post. I’m the genre geek fan. I thought this name suited me better for this post. Named after our hero and title character of the great t.v. show based on the great comics. Not sure which name I’ll settle on, but I really like this one. I can hear myself speaking in the Lucifer voice with his accent and vocal pattern.
Anyway, I thought you might enjoy me mentioning my blasphemous habit. As you recall, I was dragged to a Southern Baptist church against my will until I was old enough to defy thrm and break free.
Well, that particular church broadcasts on local t v. So often on Sundays I’ll gather as many of my like minded perverted friends and have sex in Lucifer ‘ and Satan’s name with the live broadcast on the big screen. We even wear horns and tails and leather sometimes. It’s especially sweet knowing that the show is live and in real time we are doing this while they’re doing that.
I thought you and the others would love knowing that.
The Sin of Onan , spilled seed upon the ground is weird for multiple reasons. The reasoning behind it is they want indoctrinated be livers to be constantly producing new children to brainwash from birth and create more zombies to help eat the brains of the none converted. Every organic experience should produce a child to help take over the world. Otherwise it’s for pleasure and that’s just abominable !
It’s also the bullshit reason they say masturbation is wrong.
I remember an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 when they did a short called “Are you ready for marriage? ” . I think this joke comes from that one. It was a 1950s “educational ” short to test if these 2 empty headed wasp teen age high school kids were ready to wed. A celibate priest with boundary issues was advising them, always a good idea.
At the end, the bots start naming possible titles of other films these people could make. I think Tom Servo summed up religion perfectly
” Watch for our next project.
‘ Oh No! Pleasure!’ ”
What really makes me shake my head is,the harmless things The Bible condemned and the horrible atrocities and hateful behavior it requires and encourages. As Penn Jillette wisely said. ” The best way to cure yourself of Christianity and break free is to read The Bible. You won’t even finish it before you realize it’s completely bullshit.”