It’s a big buzzword currently: Trans.

I know it’s confusing when you’re trying to figure out exactly what you are. It’s an identity crisis of epic proportions, when you first start to question yourself. You’ve grown up male, socialized male, taught how to be a manly man, and now you’re interested in panties and makeup and girly things! What are you, really? Are you transgendered, or are you a sissy? Are you a girl inside? Do you feel like you hate your penis? What does it all mean?!!!

Relax, take a breath, and settle in. Let’s explore exactly what it means to be trans.

A person who is trans is, simply, not cis. A cis-gendered person identifies exactly with their assumed gender based on their genitalia. If you’ve got a penis, and think you should have a penis, like having your penis, and identify as a man, you’re a cis male. If, however, you have a penis, and yet think of yourself as a woman, then you’re trans. Seems simple, but, as with most issues of human sexuality, it’s not that simple at all. Think of Cis and Trans as opposite points on a spectrum. Imagine that you could graph people’s gender identity along that spectrum; most populations, when graphed on a line with two opposite points fall into a distribution pattern called a Bell Curve. Most of the population will fall in the middle of the line, with diminishing fractions of the population towards each of the endpoints.

The vast majority of people are neither totally Trans nor totally Cis.

That’s right, most people are not wholly Cis-gendered, nor are they totally Trans! Most of us are in the nice comfy middle of the spectrum. While we may think of ourselves as identifying with the gender we were assigned at birth, we can also find elements of the opposite gender within ourselves. For example, I’m a woman, assigned female at birth, and I think of myself as a woman. I love to put on a strap-on cock and fuck people of all sorts of gender identities in the hot wet hole of their choice, and I also love to play with power tools. I also crochet and paint, and cook a mean steak, a la Alton Brown.

When you try to figure out where you stand on the Trans – Cis binary, it’s hard to nail things down.

And that’s ok! It’s ok to be confused about where you are, and it’s ok to simply say “I don’t know where I stand, but I know I love to be held down and fucked.” Whatever you wind up thinking of yourself as today, it’s perfectly fine to decide next week that your identity is different. You can be an ever-evolving and changing hot mess, and you can decide that today you’re a lesbian in a man’s body, tomorrow you’ll be a twink with a love of cocksucking, and next year, who even knows?!

Don’t stress yourself out too much worrying over whether you’re trans or not.

It’s all good, darlings. You can be questioning and transitioning and wondering and experimenting… or you can know with the certainty of Gibraltar exactly who you are and what you are and what gets you off. I’d love to talk with you any time, help you pin things down and get more clear about where you are today. Heck, you may catch me on one of my supper femme days, or one of my “I wish I had a real cock so I could cum on your face” days.

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