Sometimes I get in the mood for some oral worship.

I know, men all think it’s about the cock, and if they’re not big enough they’ll never be able to please a woman. But guys, I gotta tell you that you’re wrong. Even tiny peckers can please a woman if they’re willing to forgo trying to use their pathetic little penis to do it. Every male on the planet has both fingers and a mouth, so there’s really no reason that you’d leave any woman unsatisfied in the end. And some women are such suckers for a sob story they’d let you attempt your performance with even a tiny penis if you’re willing to eat pussy afterward and engage in oral worship of a woman’s body.

Confused about how to go about oral worship of a woman’s body?

Don’t worry, just follow your instincts. See, anyone can learn to give great kisses, and therefore anyone can learn to give good oral worship. Now, I’ll admit, I’ve had some bad kisses. You may think there’s no bad kiss, but damn there really is. Too much tongue too soon, active slurping and sucking at my face like I’m a straw, and, hate to say it, drool. Ugh. The key to a good kiss is to go slow and stay away from desperation moves. Don’t try to shove your tongue all the way down my throat immediately (and of course, don’t try to fuck my pussy with your tongue right off the bat either.) Show some restraint, damn.

Use the tip of your tongue to explore. Pay attention to the way her body reacts: does she sigh, did she tense up? Does she giggle, move away, lean in? Women will absolutely move towards the things we like, and away from things we don’t enjoy. Tiny little kisses to gauge responsiveness, to find the sensitive places, and little licks to wake up the nerves. Don’t go for bites or nips too soon, either. We’re like a good engine: let us warm up before you try to do wheelies. I know you want to do the penis in vagina sex, but get good at the foreplay, the after play, the oral worship, body worship, and you greatly increase the odds we’ll let you fuck us.

Speaking of biting in oral worship…

Some women really love it, and some really don’t. When in doubt, ask first. And be polite: if you’re gonna mark up your partner, put the love bites where clothes can easily cover them. I’ve been prone to using my teeth a bit, but I save the good bites for the top of the shoulder, right on a pectoral (not a nipple), or inner thigh. Places that are usually covered by clothes, good thick muscles instead of the tender bits where the skin is thin and joints are near, and I also moderate the nibbles to what my partner wants at the time. There’s a memorable story about a camping trip and a hickey necklace I left on someone, but you’ll have to call for that story.

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