So, you wanna know how to eat your own cum. Maybe you saw it on a porn vid you were watching, maybe someone mentioned it in a podcast (like the Whore School episode on Cum Eating Humiliation), or maybe you thought of it while you were horny, got even more turned on, and now you’re obsessed. The first obstacle, of course, is that you’re just a little grossed out by it when you’re not horny. And it turns out that obstacle is kinda a problem, because once you nut, you stop being horny. What’s a wanker to do with a handful of cooling cum and a wilting boner?

How To Eat Your Own Cum

I could give you a step by step guide in black and white right here to licking up your load and all my cum eating tips. Never fear, I actually will tell you all you need to know to go it alone, but first, let me tell you that your chances of success go up quite sharply if you make time to have a cum eating phone sex session with me to help you actually follow through. Ok, that aside, if you want to eat your cum there’s two paths you can take. Path one requires a little pre-planning, space in your freezer or fridge, and a bowl. Path number two requires that you be a little flexible, and wank in an unusual position.

Method One: Preparation To Eat Your Cum

If you have the time and space, this method is a proven way to get you to eat your own cum. The next time you wank, have a resealable bag or other container handy, and cum into it. You’ll want to either freeze your load or at least refrigerate it until the next time you get the urge to eat your cum. As part of your preparation to eat your load, microwave or heat in a kettle some water to just body warm. Float your saved load in the warm water until it melts and warms up, because frozen and cold cum is an advanced level of cum eating. Now, wank and masturbate, but as you’re working yourself up and getting nicely horny, eat your saved load. You can dip your fingers in and lick them clean, toss it back like a shot right before you cum, or use it to flavor a dildo and lick it off. The key is to eat your saved load of cum before you orgasm, thus avoiding the ‘after I cum I don’t want to eat that’ issue.

Method Two: Get Flexible

The second method for how to eat your own cum is simpler, in that there’s no need to save a load, heat up water, and none of that rigamarole. Instead, you need to be flexible enough to be able to hoist your own legs and lower torso up and over your own face. Imagine laying on your back, then, either using a wall to walk your legs up and then part of your lower body, or just go full yoga and fold over yourself, so that your own cock is aimed directly at your face and mouth. That’s right, we’re taking the very direct route to get that load into you. This method works for those with limited space and no prep time: just get horny, get into position, and cum in your own mouth. Simple, direct, and now you’re a cum eater. Also, it’s really hard to avoid unless you spasm somehow at the moment of orgasm. Arguing with gravity while masturbating is useless, that load is landing on your mouth, at the very least.

Cum Eating Master Class

Of course, like I mentioned, the absolute best way to eat your cum is to call me up and have a session about it! It’s even harder to back out when you’ve got me on the line encouraging you to follow through for me. If you’re entranced by the idea of eating your cum, but don’t really want to follow through, that’s fine as well! Some things are fun fantasies, but I wouldn’t want to do in real life. Never fear that you’d disappoint me by chickening out at the last minute. Cum eating is one of those fun games that seems simple, but is actually rather difficult. That’s why having a partner to coax you along can help! Even so, it may take a few tries before you succeed.

Your Cum Eating Guide, Harper