I’m going to take this opportunity to talk about a section of kinky sex games that is near and dear to my heart: mental play. In some ways, everything that we do with our clients here at LDW has elements of mental play. After all, even if we’re describing an intense session and really claiming control of your cock, without the interplay of your mind with ours, nothing explosive happens.

When I start to talk about mental domination, a lot of people jump straight to mind games and power play. And I’m perfectly happy with that automatic leap of thought! Mind games and mental play is one of my favorite things, but I have to tell you that there are a lot of misconceptions and preconceptions around them.

For instance, a lot of people assume that mind games equal playing the pretty pretty princess bitch who strings her man along and messes with his head. And, yes, that’s one version of mind gaming. Some people think of it in terms of the clients who try to ‘flip’ us and manipulate the Mistress. That’s a valid aspect of mind play, too. But there’s more!

How about finding that rare and elusive mind and personality who wraps you around her little finger without even trying hard? The Mistress who knows you on such a deeply intimate level that all it takes is one look from her to drop you to your knees? The radiant Goddess who smiles upon you when you finally complete a difficult task, and therefore renders you speechless?

All of these are also mental play. Deep submission and slavery are also, despite the often made assumptions around their physical expression, examples of mental games. In this day and age, no matter how much we may wish it, we can’t actually own a human being; we don’t really get to deny them the right to leave the relationship if they feel it isn’t meeting their needs. Actual real physical slavery with all of its issues of non-consent and ethical/moral dilemmas just isn’t possible.

However, the type of extreme mental play that can result in a person feeling like an utterly owned possession, to be used by his Mistress for her pleasure, trained to serve her needs and with every thought and action motivated by his desire to be of service to Her is a very real possibility. In that sort of relationship both Mistress and slave must be committed to a level and type of honesty and openness that is unprecedented in other relationship styles.

The deeply intimate connection that is possible between two earnest power play enthusiasts is breathtaking and awe-inspiring. That connection is often what is being sought between Mistress and client; deeply intimate relationships of that type are built and nurtured in the mind, fed with the heart, and thrive in the soul.